A Venti for Venting

This should/may be short. Just need to write down a couple of things to hopefully release them and get out of this funk.

I, on occasion, go to meetings of a 12-Step program. We have a lot of sayings and beliefs. In fact, they are even mentioned at the beginning of every meeting. One is (and I am paraphrasing), "there are no stars or VIPs. We come together as compulsive (purposely leaving addiction out), be it new comer or seasoned long-timer". Then, there's also the anonymity part of it all. So, what's my beef with this? Today's speaker, while having a lot of recovery, kept specifically name dropping all the other long-timers and how to be included among them is just par for the course. To me, that breaks both of the "no stars/VIPs" and the "anonymity'. Actually, this was a big part of why I left the program a few years ago. The hypocrisy of it all. I think it's all right to say you have many years of recovery, and you may say something along the lines of "fellow members", but naming names is wrong. And, that pisses me off.

Another thing... why do people, especially your friends, lie? My feelings at this very moment is they are really not my friends at all. I mean, there's that old bs of, "we just didn't want to hurt your feelings". Come on! Being honest may be hard, uncomfortable or difficult from time to time, and you may hurt hearing it, but... with the truth you can (well, I can) be pissed for a little while and then get over it and move on. Lies only seen to foster more lies. Someone said the other day "Trust is like a plate. Once broken, you can glue it back together. But, it will never be the same."

Don't know why I needed to vent, but that's what blogging's all about, isn't it? I'm wondering if these bother me because I'm in a little funk and if I'm becoming a hypocrite and a liar (to myself... hopefully not others!).

Okay. That's it for now.

"Keep coming back. It works if you work it!"